Friday, July 26, 2013

Blessings

They say to count your blessings. Since arriving home, here are some of mine (no importance to order of list):
1. Hot showers.
2. Hot baths (with bubbles!)
3. High-speed internet
4. Speaking in English. All. the. time.
5. Playing with nieces and nephews.
6. Being able to leave my computer plugged in, not worrying about electrical shocks.
7. Being able to charge things without having to think about how sunny it has been, how well the battery is charged, if the city power will come on tonight, and prioritizing which thing I really want charged the most.
8. Being able to go to the store and get just about anything I want, in about any shape, color, or size I want or need. It's amazing.
9. Driving an automatic. However, I do miss the standard transmission. I keep moving my right hand to downshift...
10. Ice cream
11. Chocolate
12. Ice cream
13. Pizza I don't have to make myself, but can just pick up (we live too far out in the country for delivery).
14. Swimming in the pool (though it is a bit chilly for swimming. Only 73F yesterday...I'm usually in jeans, long sleeves, and socks at that temperature).
15. Hot baths. (Did I mention that already?)
16. Brewed, not instant, coffee.
17. Fresh fruits and veggies that are not cucumbers, cabbage, pineapple, papaya, or bananas. (They are good, but it gets old.)
18. Organic chicken I don't have to kill myself.
19. Catching up on some TV shows I enjoy.
20. Seeing friends and family
21. Hot water
22. The sun setting after 6:30pm. It's really strange, but nice as well.
23. Not working. Not doing a single thing. Just relaxing. It's amazing.
24. Cold, real, not powdered, milk.
25. CEREAL!!

Did I mention the hot water and constant electricity?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Coming home

This is something I wrote on my way home from Congo. Thought I'd post it...

You'd think after being overseas for almost three years, I'd be excited to come home. Nay, ecstatic, even. But I'm not. don't get me wrong, I want to get to see my family, reconnect with friends, enjoy hot showers and high speed internet. But I've also created a new home in Congo, with new friends and family. If I could have both in one place, I'd have the best of both worlds. Unfortunately I only get one or the other. No matter where I am, people on one continent or another are crying. 
I've often thought to myself: would I be able to do this if I were married? If I had children? Would I be able to live overseas, knowing my kids might not really know their grandparents or cousins? It's already hard enough thinking that my nieces and nephews might not ever know me very well. I think the overall answer is "yes". If that's what God called me to do, I'd do it. It might be hard, it might not be the life I originally planned or thought I'd have, but I'd be doing God's will, and that would make it worth it. 
I don't want to you to think I'm overly pious or something. I'm not. I still struggle with the same stuff you do. I want to do things myself. Selfish me wants to believe I know better than God. I sometimes feel dry-unable to really pray, unable to enjoy praise and worship, because I sometimes feel empty inside, from pouring myself out so much (usually in physical work, at the hospital). What I continually strive to balance is serving but not burning out; serving but taking the time to rest; serving but not getting over-extended and frustrated. I don't think anyone has perfected it, but I do think there are some that do it better than others. I'm still learning.