Wednesday, March 19, 2014

That's not what you want

Recently I've had some experiences of where the person I was interacting with had a different idea of what I wanted or needed than what I thought I wanted or needed. Examples:

A month or so ago I was at the market and asked for 150 francs worth of lentils. She told me no, I wanted 300 francs worth. I accepted, mostly because I probably could do something with them, and I understood she wanted to sell the last of what she had (which was 300 F worth).

Last week I had a little bit of hot water in with some coffee grounds in the French press to make a second cup of coffee. I hadn't filled it all the way because I wanted to add more hot water before I left the house, so it would be hot at work. Esperance, the Congolese woman who helps at my house, saw it as a dirty dish and washed it. Guess I really only needed one cup that day. 

Last weekend we went to the market and I wanted just 200 F worth of dried kidney beans. The lady gave me a look as if to say "are you crazy? That's not enough to for a meal."  I still only bought the 150 F. And by the way, it's plenty.

I made bread this morning and asked Esperance to put the bread into loaf pans. I got home and have two dozen rolls. I really wanted loafs. I wanted to have slices of bread. I can't really explain why, but it was important to me.

It got me thinking, I wonder how often we do something like that to God. He says "I want you to do this..." and we say "no, you really want me to do this." Sometimes we're like Jonah, who flees God's direction, or try to 'one up' what God wants. Sometimes he just wants us to be satisfied with Him. To take time to be in His presence. We try to 'one up' things, to do something 'better', but it really distracts us from what He really wants-our heart. And it distracts us from seeing and hearing Him.

Teach me your ways, O LORD, 
that I may live according to your truth!
Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.
Psalms 86:11